Thursday, 13 December 2007

Gerry's Jingle All The Way

Vox Britannica very nearly choked on his morning Rice Krispies today. As a keen follower of the Madeleine McCann "disappearance" story, not least through the excellent Mike Hitchens blog , I couldn't believe what I was reading in today's Daily Mail.

Francisco Marco, the brains behind Metodo 3 - the private investigators hired by the chief suspects - now claims that his most reputable company has solved the mystery of what happened to the little girl. It is important to emphasise that the story is about a little girl, given that if you read Gerry's blog, or listen to anything that oozes out of "official spokesman" Clarence Mitchell's serpentine mouth you'd think that the only victims were the parents. Anyhow, Senor Marco's quote taken from the Daily Mail:

"We know who kidnapped her. We believe she is in an area not very far from the Iberian peninsula and north Africa. And we have a fairly certain idea of who she is with. "

Run that by me one more time?

"We know who kidnapped her. We believe she is in an area not very far from the Iberian peninsula and north Africa. And we have a fairly certain idea of who she is with. "

Right, so despite all the evidence to the contrary, the cadaver dogs, the blood spots, the hire car, the conflicting witness accounts, Jane Tanner's risible Faceless Man and the fact that the Portuguese police are certain she's dead, your little company of amateur sleuths know FOR CERTAIN where a living, breathing Madeleine is? The fact that your £50,000 a month income depends on her being alive of course has nothing to do with this...

The whole sorry saga is rotten to the core. So much simply does not add up. The unseemly haste with which websites and cash-cow funds were established, the parents apparent eagerness to embark on a star-studden World Tour, roping in everyone from David Beckham to the Pope, the refusal to answer THOSE questions when interrogated by the Portuguese authorities. The repeated washing of Cuddle Cat, Gerry's Oscar-winning, and impeccably-timed cracking voice on the tarmac at East Midlands airport. The refusal to chase leads and reported sightings. The dubious speed with which Clarence Mitchell, effectively a Labour government spin doctor, was assigned to the case. The Magnificent Seven friends who appear to have such wildly contrasting stories about what actually did happen, and who saw what. The bilious hero-worship of the chief suspects in the British press - Sky News and the Daily Mail are especially noteworthy in this. I'll stop there for now, but you get the general idea.

Senor Marco reckons Madeleine will be home for Christmas. Didn't our politicians say something similar in 1914? I don't believe for one second his bunch of Iberian Cluedo enthusiasts know where Madeleine is, but admitting defeat denies them a valuable source of income, and surely if she is being held by a gang of paedophiles, as he says, then surely the people you tell are the PROPER authorities - the Portuguese Police, you do not go blabbing your mouth off to the press. As soon as the "kidnappers" (sorry, just playing along here with the McCann party line) get wind of this, then they'd certainly kill her and dump the body.

Now, do we take Metodo 3 and Marco at face value, or do we suspect that Mr Mitchell is at play here with his Machiavellian smoke and mirrors act? Is it mere coincidence that this apparently "strong" lead comes out on a day when the Mayor of Praia da Luz has criticised the McCanns, and in a week where it's revealed that their good friend the local priest in Luz cuts the figure of a broken man, and wants nothing more to do with the unseemly couple? If there's one thing that Nu-Labour spinners are good at, it's deflecting and burying bad news...

Hopefully justice is not far away. Will this year's Jingle Bells be the last Gerry and co hear before they're replaced by the jangling of the jailor's keys?


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